February 2012
17 posts
“Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I “always wear that stupid...”
“Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking...”
“Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister...”
“Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend....”
“Today, I sat in my boss’ office as he bitched me out for being “too...”
“Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet...”
“Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML”
“Today, I received a single, handmade valentines card from the weirdest kid in...”
“Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and...”
“Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old daughter why she can’t pull a...”
“Today, I was having lunch at McDonald’s when I dropped a French fry down...”
“Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML”
“Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man...”
“Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable...”
“Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands....”
“Today, my parents boarded the fad wagon and became Juggalos. FML”
“Today, I found out that my wife purposefully eats peanut butter and jelly...”
January 2012
33 posts
“Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my...”
“Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to...”
“Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions....”
“Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I’m...”
“Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going...”
“Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald’s...”
“Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways....”
“Today, my teacher, who’s Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for...”
“Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as...”
“Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will...”
“Today, my wife posted on Facebook, “FUCK THA POLICE!” She got 40...”
“Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend...”
“Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I...”
“Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in...”
“Today, I got my period at school. I didn’t notice until a boy asked me if...”
“Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I’d...”
“Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come...”
“Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why...”
“Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she’d...”
“Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now...”
“Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in...”
“Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The “Oompa...”
“Today, my mom told me she’s a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and...”
“Today, January 5th, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML”
“Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there...”
“Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully...”
“Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year’s party. She told me to be...”
“Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent...”
“Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station...”
“Today, I was going over to my friend’s house for the first time. A...”
“Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had...”